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People who let their animal poop on the sidewalk then don’t clean it up will not be given a fine… they will have their nose rubbed in it and be hit with a rolled up newspaper.
Bank vaults should be made of the same thing CD’s are wrapped in, so no one will ever be able to break into them.
There will be no pre-recorded answering systems at big companies, if your company has over 5,000 employees then at least one of them has to know how to answer the phone.
Bikinis shouldn't have sizes… they should have weight limits.
All sandals will be equipped with a "black socks detector." The sandals will self-destruct before they can be worn with black socks.
People who talk on cell phones in public have to wear a phone booth on their head, so we don’t have to listen to their boring conversations.
All spam e-mail has to include the home phone number of the person sending it, so you can harass them too.
Movie theatres will give us popcorn for free. After paying that huge ticket price they should give it away, I mean what does it cost them about 2 cents a barrel.
Every boy band would have to include at least one ugly pudgy guy who actually had musical talent.
Morning Show Radio DJ's will be required to say something funny once per... oh I don't know... week. Is that too much to ask?
All households will be set up just like reality TV: if you act like a jerk, the rest of your family can vote you out of the house.
Your option at the grocery store won't be "paper or plastic". It will be "Can I be friendly or friendlier."
Fast food coffee has a warning on it: ”Hot”. So should its food: "The food you are about to ingest will make you fat and unhealthy."
Coffee shops menus will be pared down to 2 items only: coffee and coffee with a bunch of crap in it.
Everyone will have the right to bear arms, except for...postal employees, high school students in Colorado, day traders and ex-football stars.
All voting ballots will be scratch and sniff so you’ll know who’s full of it.
Postal employees and DMV workers will be paid by the actual number of people they help in a day.
You only have to pay taxes if the person you voted for wins.
Only people who can score higher than 1200 on the SAT’s will have the right to bear arms - except for: high school students, postal employees, day traders, and ex-football stars.
Every President will be required to have his GED, or at least seem like he could pass.
Homeless people will be adopted instead of highways to be cleaned up.
All people’s bathrooms will be equipped with stereo loud speakers, so you can go to the bathroom in peace without worrying that people can hear you.
People who always say.."The book was better than the movie" will be forced to watch all movies in a crowded library.
Only people who are actually in debt can beg for money.
People will only give their ages in baby time. Like, I’m 234 months old. Then we’ll be young forever.
All people should have their own “Home Base,” so if the cops are after you and you can get to your base first… then you’re safe.
Jehovah Witnesses will only be allowed to go door to door on Halloween, when it’s actually ok to knock on people’s doors.
SPORTS AND GAMES
All over-paid athletes' signing bonuses will be taken and given to teachers.
All baseball games will have to be attended naked. That way you’ll at least have something interesting to look at.
At bowling alleys you should have to run down the lane and set up your own pins. At least that way people will have to get some exercise when they play.
If you get on the jumbotron at the football game and try to wave to yourself… then you get thrown out of the stadium and that gets shown on the jumbtron.
You can own a giant SUV or a cell phone, but not both.
People who drive mini vans… have to live in mini houses.
If your carry-on bag doesn't fit in the overhead compartment, you have to get off the plane.
Children should ride in buckets on the OUTSIDE of the airplane.
If you get stuck in highway traffic because two idiots got in a fender bender at 10 mph, you can legally drive double the speed limit to make up the time you lost. Stuck for half an hour, then you get to drive 130 mph for half an hour. Or better yet, you can bill the idiots for the time they stole from your life.
All travelers should travel naked, so there won’t be a need for any security checkpoints.
Intersections won't be equipped with cameras… donut shops will be. Then every cop car entering the parking lot will be sent a photo and fined.
If you throw trash out of your car, then other drivers get to throw the trash in their cars into yours.
If you have to wait in line for more than an hour at the airport security checkpoint… then you get bumped up to first class.
For every piece of luggage lost at the airport, each airport employee must remove an article of their own clothing and give it to you.
||Welcome to the Planet Charlie“Idea Bank”.
The idea behind the bank is to provide a place where people can read and share funny, original, “change the world ideas” with people everywhere.
Please enjoy and feel free to pass along, any or all, of these original “change the world” ideas. Although, I have written many of these ideas as part of my stand up comedy act, the idea bank wouldn’t be the same without the many contributions I have received from around the world from people like you. So go ahead, I encourage you to submit your own original ideas. Come on, everybody’s got at least one thought on how they would change the world. They can be whatever you think is a good idea, as long as it’s original. They can be funny, practical or just plain silly. The sky’s the limit !
A mobile version of the idea Bank is available for your iPhone or iPod touch in the iTunes Music Store / App store under...Planet Charlie Idea Bank. It's free!
Submitting to the idea bank is simple…just fill out the form below. If your submission is accepted, it will be posted in the bank soon. Your submission will also make you an official new citizen of my planet…Planet Charlie and will grant you access to a free Planet Charlie Passport download.
The idea bank is for entertainment, enlightenment and the global exchange of original, positive, funny ideas. Thank you and I look forward to your submissions.
Please don’t waste my time or yours by submitting vulgar, pornographic, racist, extremely politically biased or any other thoughts that are nothing but hateful to the idea bank. I carefully screen each submission and will not post anything that does not fit the fun, positive idea behind this project. All submission that are accepted, will be posted anonymously. All submissions become the property of Planet Charlie Inc., Cyrano Intl and Charlie Viracola, so please don’t send the cure for cancer or an idea for a new jet propulsion system, unless you want Planet Charlie to produce it.
Submit your Ideas